Sunday, November 2, 2008

Warning – angry rant ahead

Today was a great day in terms of learning complicated nursing stuff like trauma. That’s right – I got to work my first trauma! Actually the only thing I did was push in amiodarone and atropine. After that I retreated back to documenting.

Now to put the anger into perspective – prior to receiving trauma-man, I got a patient with query hip fracture and ++ nausea complete with her insanely bitchy daughter in tow. The daughter hovered around the nursing station like a vulture ready to descend down on her pray and hack them mercilessly with mind-numbingly idiotic demands. Such demands included, “my mother should be allowed to eat” (before an unnecessary abdominal CT? get a life), “take her to the bathroom right now” (I don’t get paid enough to be your personal bitch) and last but certainly not least, “these sheets are much too rough for her skin so go get her something softer” (Do I look like the manger of the fucking Hilton? Go fuck yourself and then head over to a department store if you’re that concerned).

During her concerted efforts of putting the retard back into retarded, we got a call from EMS saying they were bringing trauma-man to us with an ETA of 5 minutes. Naturally, we all rush into the trauma room and get it prepped. I was getting the IV pumps and the cold lactated ringers prepped when I spotted the vulture. I ignored her and along with the trauma team ran over to the EMS crew to get report and start documenting like my life depended on it. When I was back in the trauma room and drawing up atropine (which has a half life of about nothing), this fuck-tard of a woman BARGES in and demands that either myself or my preceptor take her mother to the bathroom RIGHT NOW! This was the moment that I lost it at this woman. I was blinded by a ball of white fury so I don’t remember much but apparently I screamed at her and told her to get out and stay out if she doesn’t want to be thrown out by security. She walked away in a huff and then threatened to sue me.

You know what I have to say to you lady? FUCK YOU! How far up your ass is your head stuck that you can’t understand that a guy suddenly lacking vital signs with 50 people hanging every single drug known to mankind is less important than your mother’s voiding needs, who by the way is perfectly capable of walking! You asked for Vaseline earlier? I’ll get you a boat load of Vaseline and try to pry your head out of that entitled ass of yours. And then give it a swift kick for the good of the country. Your parents have failed as human beings by not putting you in a reed basket in the middle of a Florida swamp filled with ‘gators upon your birth. If I have to be sued by you, I’d love to see your uppity ass trying to defend your mommy-dearest having to hold it in while the rest of the team tried to SAVE A LIFE.

Idiot people just grate my nerves more and more everyday.

3 comments:

Jessica said...

Yeah... atropine with a half-life of 10 seconds so we give it the double-barreled method (hooray for learning something during mock codes!). Scary stuff.

That stupid woman can shove her idiocy up herself 10-fold. As if voiding and stooling were more important than a trauma. She's got to get her priorities in check.

Ont-RN said...

Are you perhaps thinking of adenosine? Yes, atropine has a short 1/2 life, but it's not mili-seconds like the adenosine, AND your hospital should be supplying it in pre-filled syringes so you don't have to draw anything up

Elle said...

YOU ARE HILARIOUS!
-Fan from Ohio!