Eventually he gets brought in and placed in the psych room. I also go back to observation but when I walk by the psych room he stops me and asks me for a pen. I saw him writing furiously so I figured why not and gave him my cruddy pen. About 20 minutes later, I walk by the room and I see his face covered in pen marks and he managed to wrap his head with medical tape! I asked the security guard about where he got the tape from and he told me that Princess Di was crawling around on the floor writing in “pregnancy pain” when he found a roll of tape under a chair and proceeded to tape his head! I wish I could have violated patient confidentiality and taken a picture because I’ve never seen anything quite so bizarre! The wrapping looked like a mummy’s bandages! Several minutes later Princess Di has to go to the bathroom. The security guard obliges and waits outside the door. When it was taking too long, the guard went into the bathroom and found him seran wrapping his chest and abdomen. I snuck away once again from observation just to be a part of the show! The on-call doc walks by, stops dead in his tracks and says, “Diana, I just saw you yesterday! What the hell is your problem now? You better not say you’re pregnant again!” Princess Di looks sheepishly at him and tell him that he wrapped himself for the x-ray so the baby will be protected. Oh good lord this man was insane (probably literally)! The doc just grabs the chart out of the nursing station, discharges him and tells him to get out! Princess Di threatens to report the shabby care he received to M15 and the Queen of England because she is his “mother”. Riiiight.
About an hour later, he walks into the waiting room and towards the triage desk again but this time the triage nurse tells him that the ER is closed – there’s too many people! He gets confused and bewildered and stumbles out of there. He didn’t come back for the rest of my shift but I’ve been told to keep an eye out for him because he’s almost frequent flyer number 1!