What’s in a name?

Ill informed patient: I’m allergic to ibuprofen.
Me: What happens when you take ibuprofen containing medications?
Patient: I get really bad hives and I feel gross.
Me: But you said earlier that you took Motrin for your pain?
Patient: Yeah, Motrin not Ibuprofen. Are you not fucking listening to me?
Me: Motrin IS ibuprofen.
Patient: No its not. I didn’t get hives.
Me: Then perhaps you’re not really allergic to ibuprofen.
Patient: You’re retarded. You’re just a nurse. I AM allergic to ibuprofen so get me some Percocet bitch!
Me: Security!

Moral of the story: If you’re a drug seeker, it would benefit you to know the trade and generic names of your drugs so you don’t look like a bigger jackass than you really are. Oh and I'm not 'just a nurse'. I'm your nurse and I'm not going to 'advocate' to feed your addiction.