Sunday, February 15, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Recently I switched shifts around with a friend of mine and ended up working several nights in a row. Suffice it to say that I will NEVER do that to myself again. Never. In any case, at around 0230, the charge nurse brings me a stark raving mad lunatic who is screaming every racist epithet while telling us to engage in acts that are neither legal nor physically possible. He takes one look at me (I'm not exactly blonde haired and blue eyed) and the deluge of racist remarks intensifies. He is handcuffed, shackled and surrounded by 4 cops and 5 security guards. Maybe I'm becoming desensitized but instead of staring at him horrified with my mouth agape, I immediately draw up haldol and lorazepam so when I get the orders, I can immediately start to medically shut this mofo up! Lo and behold, I get the orders. As I'm preparing to inject him, he tells me to "get the fuck out of my way bitch – I wanna get a good look at that fine piece of ass". Now I'm genuinely confused because he sure as hell isn't talking to me (its the small things one should be thankful for). And then I realize – he's trying to stare down one of the incredibly attractive guards! I have never been one to stand in the way of a possible love connection so I move to the side granting him a full view of the "fine peice of ass" while I inject him. The security guard was mortified, I was concurrently amused and discouraged and we all waited for the drugs to kick in. Happy Valentines day indeed!