Tuesday, October 28, 2008
A wicked case of crotch rot
My charge nurse handed me a 16 year old girl who was transferred over from one of our affiliate hospitals for pelvic inflammatory disease accompanied by her boyfriend who looks just like a gangsta wanna-be would in a place where his greetings of ‘s’up muthafuckahs’ are met with disdain – like a stray puppy who’s angry at being placed in a kennel for the night. The girl herself was pleasant enough – actually she was quite sweet. I did my assessment and then set up the room for one of the residents to do a speculum exam while explaining the process to the girl. So along comes the resident and starts doing the exam. Now I know this guy a little bit and he knows that I’m new so whenever we’re working together he tries to get me to see as much as possible, which is always appreciated. Usually he explains the procedure as he’s doing it but this time he asks me to come to his side and pass him an instrument while looking at me somewhat funny. This of course makes my spidey-sense tingle and I quickly walked over to his side. When I looked at the vajayjay area I was horrified. I had never seen that much curdled cottage cheese like discharge from an area that small before! The resident took out the speculum and it was dripping with the aforementioned discharge! I can’t even begin to describe the smell. Meanwhile the girl is asking ‘what smells funky?’ That would be you honey. When we explain what we saw, she says, ‘But I’m not a slut! I’ve only been with a couple of guys! Did you put the thing in the right hole?’ What we saw shouldn’t be coming out of any hole. We were concerned about the boyfriend as well so we brought him to another room to chat with him. Turns out he was admitted a little while ago for the same problem but he had been compliant with his meds – the girl hadn’t. She ended up getting a gram of vanco for chlamydia in the ED before being admitted to gyne. Needless to say she needed a LOT of health teaching and perhaps a swift kick in the ass for thinking unprotected sex with ‘only a couple of guys’ guarantees protection from STIs!