Emerging Dazed and Confused from the Land of Night Shifters

“Dude! I thought you were like dead or married or something! Where have you been?”

Thus I was greeted by one of my more colourful friends when I ventured out in the afternoon for lunch after working 7 nights in 9 days. How do I feel after this (mostly) self inflicted torture? Let’s just say, off. Usually I like to work nights but this time it has been particularly vile because I have been denied my nap during breaks. Due to ongoing construction, the ER nursing lounge is inaccessible, which means that the lousy nap chairs from yester-year are also inaccessible. Without a nap I’m a terrible nurse. I can’t get IVs in, I can’t collect blood samples, the thought of having to catheterize a little old broken hip lady induces terrible sobs of anguish and people asking me ‘how much longer until I see the doctor?’ makes me seethe with uncontrollable, mouth foaming, profanity hurling, stretcher kicking rage. In a moment of shocking desperation, I think I actually fell asleep while trying to get a history from a psych patient. Perhaps Santa will reward us lowly nurses with a decent lounge and some spare stretchers or couches? Unbloody likely.

In any case, I learned that after waking up entirely disoriented and slightly scared at having seen sunlight for the first time in a week, it is best not to acclimatize to the day time world by trolling in a mall full of herds of bewilderbeasts frantically looking for presents. At least lunch was delicious and fun!