Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My Triumphant Return

So I come back to Canada a little later than anticipated and all everyone is talking about is how Timmy Ho’s not only serves subpar (yet strangely addictive) coffee but is now also involved in emerg patient care. I figured that since I’m still in my post-vacation haze, I’ll contemplate those issues after I unpack, reacquaint myself with my soft bed, unpack, eat smuggled chocolates and upload my pictures. And get a couple of shifts done and over with.

But things rarely work out the way I want them to. I walk into a department that’s on the fast track to hell in a hand basket. Waiting room was packed leaving only standing room. An insane amount of eyes were trying to bore into the triage nurses’ skulls, probably hoping that if the gatekeepers to the department spontaneously combust, they would be quickly seen by the shining knight in a stethoscope and save their day. Inside the department, there were two codes (at the same futtha-muggin time!!!!) going on, one of which was a paediatric code and there were old, obtunded, septic patients circling the drain in every corner. It's as if every single nursing home had an outbreak of the plague and sent thier residents to our lovely department.

Not even fast track was showing any signs of patient movement. Everyone had a broken something with neurovascular symptoms and the simple lacs were gushing blood – almost as if arteries were involved. Which they were. Of course, the cherry on the crap sundae that was fast track were the FOUR patients that had bed bugs. FOUR of them. Getting them isolated and bathed made my skin crawl a thousand different ways. I’m still itching at the thought of it. Fast track spilled onto the outpatient surgery unit after a while, which isn’t too far away from one of my favourite Starbucks.

At least I still had my super-power of blood drawing. Got 4 vials from a knuckle vein! It's good to be back.


AM said...

For the non-medical, what is a lac? Why does it bleed? Welcome back.

JG said...

Laceration. Or really bad cut. It bleeds because it's really bad.

Anonymous said...

made me scratch

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Put the septic patient's over at Timmy's, so they can at least have coffee.

RehabRN said...

You're not the only one itching!

Glad you enjoyed the vacay. I've heard people on our unit using the thumb veins. May have to try that one of these days.

Wish I didn't have so many people with contractions!

RehabRN said...

Contractures, not contractions...whoops!

Keet said...

Love your work and your blog!
I'm a community based blood borne virus nurse in drugs services in London, (originally a Canuck), and we take blood anywhere we can get it. We may share a super power! uber-phlebotomists unite!

Where did you smuggle the chocolate from?

Anonymous said...


You are hilarious!

Look at these amazing quotable phrases from your blog:

"... and there were old, obtunded, septic patients circling the drain in every corner."

"..the cherry on the crap sundae..."

"...made my skin crawl a thousand different ways."


You must be a riot in person.

Keep churning them out....

Sounds like you are at RCH....

our website said...

To me, though, a “triumph” implies that the victory comes against a foe that previously had seemed undefeatable. Like most folks, I’ve had many kinds of these foes: foes on the baseball field, political foes, cats… A foe might also be something more like a huge, personal challenge. One example for me is a specific book I’ve been trying to read since I was a teenager: “Friday” by Robert A. Heinlein. I don’t know what it is about this book, but I can’t even get past the first chapter or two before I give up on it. I *will* triumph over this book before I die. I will! I just don’t know how yet.