Giving Up and Moving On

No, I’m not quitting my job. However, what I did quit is my outrageous addiction to Starbucks’ grande lattes. What motivated me to quit was not the delicious and soothing caffeinated warmth that my beloved lattes provided me with, but rather their after effects. I begin to realize that my lattes were the gastronomic equivalent of frenemies. I was constantly nauseated, bloated, gassy and sometimes if the combination of espresso to dairy products was in perfect proportions... well, let’s just say gastric distress cannot be ignored. My warm hug from a Starbucks cup was beginning to feel like an uncomfortably tight embrace. Since giving up Starbucks, I feel like I’ve given up a part of my identity. How can I manage to be the same nurse without a Starbucks cup affixed to my hand? It would be like Dr Grumpy sans Diet Coke. It just doesn’t seem right. Having said that, it has only been 6 weeks – in terms of Starbucks sobriety, I’m still in the infancy stage. Maybe I’ll have one bad shift or a sleepless night and I’ll go running towards the shiny green logo. But because I’ve made my attempt to give up my Starbucks dependency somewhat public, I feel obligated to continue to tread the path of less caffeine for as long as possible. Plus, my wallet is beginning to feel a bit heavier and I’m liking that better than my midsection doing the same!

The question remains, what should be my new (and healthier) signature beverage?

Secrets

I’ve probably treated hundreds of patients and each one of them tells me their secrets. Some people tell me their secrets inadvertently and some tell me for the relief of confession. Some secrets are relatively benign and others have been carefully hidden for decades to preserve a family. Some secrets are spoken aloud and some are revealed when a patient is changed into a drab hospital gown. Some secrets hit me like a ton of bricks and it can take days to recover (if not weeks) and some just float gently away from me. There is no rhyme or reason to what I remember and what I forget. Sometimes I find myself thinking about the elderly patient who has been abused and neglected by her family for an unforgivable amount of time just as I start to think about the teenager who does not want to call his mom because he knows he was not allowed to get his tongue pierced, much less infected. At the end of the day it can be sobering to think about the countless people who have entrusted me with their secrets and how on bad days acknowledging those secrets can feel so mechanical.

I’m BACK!

My little stay-cation was wonderful in every aspect except in length. However, I went back to work in great spirits, ready to embody compassion of such magnitude that Mother Teresa would stop to admire me. That lasted about two hours into my first shift. I was first met by Dr. Lazy who asked if I could write down the patient’s history on the chart and he’d sign it so he could do some online shopping instead. Yeaahhh no. A few hours after, I was accosted by a drug seeker who asked me to convince the doctor about the merits of writing her a prescription for a year’s supply of narcotics including fentanyl patches. Her reasoning was that if she had a huge supply of narcotics she wouldn’t come bugging us quite as often which would make all of our lives easier. I was quite impressed that she realized her behaviour was annoying to the staff but my fondness withered away when I snapped back into my senses and had to tell her that it wasn’t going to happen in this lifetime. Oh drug seekers how you manage to provide me anecdotes I can use for bitching! It’s good to be back!

Mini Vakay

Despite my bodily flexibility rivaling rigor mortis at times (actually between the hours of 0300-0600), I have to pat myself on the back and congratulate myself for my gravity defying scheduling acrobatics. By switching some shifts around, giving a couple away and bribing and weaseling my way through admin (food counts as bribes), I managed to get almost a week off from work. Freedom has been embracing me in its glorious warmth (or the 35C temperature) and I have been doing everything from cleaning my house, enjoying nature and not getting pissed off at people who congregate in herds and then move slower than a speeding slug, catching up on non-medical themed literature and watching many hours of Glee. Freedom also explains the dearth of blogging this week but I’ll be back next week in fighting form! Enjoy all of your days whether you’re working on not!